Sunday, December 13, 2009

Loglines, Snickers Bars & Insomnia

Wow, what am I doing up at 12:51 AM on a Monday morning? Thinking about movies and munchies. I just raided my emergency backpack with three days worth of survival supplies and hobo gear stuffed inside. I've almost eaten a 11.50 oz. bag of mini-Snickers bars by myself! I have no shame! (Yes, didn't you know... Snickers candy bars are survival food.) Oh well, I needed to cycle the food anyway, and I don't expect the apocalypse to happen anytime soon. So, how about some loglines? Some synopses? Just don't steal my chit, man!

Joey & Jeffie - A romantic crime drama based on the life of NY mobster Joey (Crazy Joe) Gallo, as seen through the eyes of his Creole, showgirl wife, Jeffie Lee. Adapted from the biography, Joey, by former NY Times editor, Donald Goddard.

Having My Baby - An action drama about a fundamentalist Christian who kidnaps an agnostic law student from the abortion clinic parking lot and takes her to the mountains to force her to have his baby as they are pursued by the FBI and National Guard. (Film premiered August 2009 in Dallas. See www.havingmybabymovie.com.)

Blood is Thicker - An action drama about a young man who inherits some land in a small Texas town that is being terrorized by a corrupt sheriff and drug dealing white supremacists.

Dead or in Huntsville - A biker soap opera about an ex-biker who marries a yuppie and tries to go straight. His plans go astray when an old biker buddy shows up needing a place to crash. (Days of Our Lives meets Hell’s Angels on Wheels.)

Junkyard Dog - A near future, science fiction, noirish story about a baby that is abandoned in a Los Angeles junkyard by illegal immigrants and is raised by urban coyotes. The baby grows up to become a vigilante crime fighter with a souped-up hybrid car, who is bent on rubbing out all the Los Angeles criminals and corrupt politicians.

Hillbilly Karma - Hillbillies and hallucinogens, rednecks and raunch... a young aspiring writer in rural Texas tries to escape the birth/death wheel of samsara and the karma of his family dysfunction.

Warboots - A young poet finds himself sharing living quarters with a Vietnam veteran with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a paranoid schizophrenic rock and roll guitarist who thinks he lives on Mars.

That's it... I've got more where that came from. Oodles and oodles of story concepts and loglines. Brimming with ideas. Jonesing to write another script. Chomping at the bit... reeling out cliches like a hack writer on nose candy. Nothing can stop me now! Yawn....

Friday, December 4, 2009

Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only the Movie Producer

I have a story concept for an over-the-top exploitation film. I have a friend with around 300 acres in the boonies of Parker County, Texas I could film on. I was going to have my art director build a small village with grass huts, etc., and have a bunch of topless Mexican chicks in grass skirts and a bunch of Mexican vatos in loin clothes portraying cannibalistic natives.

The story line is a film crew arrives in the jungles of a fictional South American country to begin filming a soft-core porno movie in the jungles. They get lost in the jungle and attacked by a cannibalistic tribe and have to outwit them and escape from them. The movie will have lots of bullets and lots of babes. The director is a dictatorial asshole. The female star is a preening primadonna. The male star is a handsome, ex-Marine who drinks a fifth of vodka a day and is going to seed. The production assistant is an innocent farm girl from Kansas. The star's bodyguard is a bone-crunching, karate slinging bull dyke to die for. Throw in some missing shipments of gold, some drug lords, federales, rebel armies, rich gringos from Hollywood hiring ninjas dropping out of trees.

Shoot it all guerrilla style, with digital equipment, natural lights, limited makeup, baloney sandwiches and daily stipends and/or points, all pp shot within a two week period with one day off in between. Balls to the wall, seat of the pants, do or die, fuck all, shoestring budget.

Any takers?

[I got the idea for this after watching the 70's German independent film, Man From Deep River.]

Saturday, November 28, 2009

"Elvi, I Was Only Kidding! Fly, Pelican!"

Scarface... helluva movie. "First you get the power, then you get the chicks." The immortal words of Tony Montana, as penned by the Dilligaf revered screenwriter and filmmaker, Oliver Stone. He wrote the screenplay in Paris while kicking a cocaine addiction. Oliver Stone is one cool dude... my favorite filmmaker of all time. [David Lynch is a close second. "We hunt buffalo now, Reggie! Remember the number 10!"]

Trying to raise money to shoot a remake of Man From Deep River, a German-made indie from the Seventies. That might be more practical than the biker flick, Dead or in Huntsville, since I'm living in the boonies now instead of the big city of Dallas. I have access to a lot of acres for exterior shots. Dead or in Huntsville seems to be jinxed, anyway. It's a long story.

Going to try to make it happen on the cheap again. Going to have to pool resources and combine talents with some heavy hitters to pull this rabbit out of a hat. Gonna write a killer script, though. Could be a lot of fun. Writing the script is the fun part. May have to come up with a proposal or private placement memorandum (PPM) to raise the money. Or save some money from my "job" in the "real world." Oh, I forgot, I'm unemployed again. I swore I'd never make another movie without the money first. In the words of Blaine Carson, "Dad gummit!"

I could even get rubbed out by the Mob. I own the screen rights to the definitive biography of Crazy Joe. I adapted a screenplay from the biography, Joey, by Donald Goddard, when I conceived and produced 3 Violent Plays with Thin Dime Theater Company in 1996. What if the Mob doesn't like it? What if I got it wrong? What if Joey Gallo's side lost the gang war and the winners of that gang war don't appreciate my version of the Crazy Joe story? Maybe I shouldn't even call him Crazy Joe... he hated that name. Nobody ever called him that to his face. (He was also known as Joey the Blond. He was shot down in Umberto's Clam House in NYC in 1971 on his 43rd birthday.)

My asking price for my script Joey & Jeffie is one million dollars... what if the Mob wants a cut? What if they send some Pauly Walnuts kinda guy to jack me up? Maybe he'll just stab me in the leg with an ice pick if I'm lucky? Holy shit, what have I done? What wicked webs we weave. Maybe I should give up this movie business and become a florist. Nah.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Back in the Saddle

I've been trying to get back into the groove to write more about Dilligaf Productions. I've been very busy moving Movie Central to our new location in Springtown, Texas, now known as Movie Central West. We all hated to see our location change due to monetary problems.

Our last location in Dallas was where it all happened... the bunkhouse, the beer binges, the steel balls, the shouted obscenities, the loose women, the working girls, the 99 cent frozen pizzas, the 3 for a dollar frozen burritos, the Bugler brand, hand-rolled cigarettes, the all-nighters, Mako shoveling coal in the engine room, the unmentionables, and the the 700 movie DVD and VHS archives to choose from when anyone cared to watch a movie instead of make, film or edit one... they will all be missed!

Now it's onward, wagons ho and don't look back. Coming soon... the biker flick, Dead or in Huntsville! More to come!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Dispatch from Les # 7: The Movie Premiere is a Success

We finally had our premiere. I haven't had much time to write this web log and do it justice. Perhaps I will find more time in the future since we had a successful premiere of Having My Baby July 9 at The Studio Movie Grill on Royal Lane in Dallas. We had a great attendance rate at just under two hundred people. Many thanks to all of you who came and supported us.

Many people congratulated me right afterwards and said they loved the movie, and I could tell they were being sincere. The movie also got a lot of laughs where one might not expect them. The audience was hooked from the very beginning due to the rapid pace of the story unfolding, and due to the interest in the characters Blaine and Sophie's unusual romance. And the story line is very original: A young man kidnaps a young woman from an abortion clinic to prevent her from aborting his baby. No one ever came up with that one before. Originality really counts for a lot in this industry.

The demographic of people who seem to like this movie the most are elderly Christian women. They just gush over it, which makes me very happy. I have only had two people out of approximately a thousand say that they found the movie (or script) to be offensive because: 1. It glorifies violence and kidnapping. 2. It portrays Blaine as a Christian but his actions are not Christianlike. I think they miss the point, and possibly miss the bus. First and foremost, Having My Baby is a love story.

Those of us among the cast and crew were very happy the night of the premiere. I think the movie was better than people expected. We had some minor sound issues, and the sound was turned up a wee bit too loud, but we have since fixed those problems and have been submitting the film to festivals in hopes of winning some prizes and garnering some notice from the film community. To create a watchable, 2-hour, feature length, action drama for around $80,000 is really quite phenomenal. That feat in and of itself is really half the story. Sam and David and I have a lot to be proud of, in that after four years we never gave up; and we were always able to settle our differences amicably, and remain friends, and put the movie first over self interest. It was not easy!

We are on IMDb now, too. We are official! I began pre-production on this movie in August 2005, and our premiere was July 9, 2009. That was four long years, never knowing if we could finish it. But we did and we are very proud. We have one more free screening in Fort Worth on August 27 (see http://www.havingmybabymovie.com/) and then we can rest a little easier and get our lives back. Our only real chore after that will be to submit it to festivals and sell some DVD's online.

I may then shoot an over the top, R-rated biker flick called Dead or in Huntsville which I wrote back in 1993 and produced for the stage in Deep Ellum, and have since adapted into a screenplay. But I will definitely have to raise the money first - no more guerrilla filmmaking with a near zero daily budget for me. I'd rather not put myself and my crew, friends and family through that again. "The horror... the horror!"

Viva la original, truly independent films! Viva la Dilligaf Productions!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dispatch from Les #6 - What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

We're back! We're back, we're bad, we're in business. We have an excellent new trailer maestro David Dixon has put together. We have our fledgling new website, thanks to actor, star and computer guru, Stephen Brodie, and we're doing an AV test very soon on the big screen, thanks to executive producer and head honcho, Samuel H. Roden, III.

I'm putting together a press kit and soon to be released press release to inform the public and elucidate the masses concerning our little indie Texas gem, Having My Baby, and will hopefully, after four years of persistence, have our premiere in July: "If the 'Lord' is willing and the creek don't rise." Yes, our little action drama, soap opera, tear jerker of a movie has arrived. I know that after four years since preproduction (August 2005) and three years since beginning principal photography (September 2006) that some of you are like... yawn. What movie...? GTFOOH. Life moves on....

But we're back! Dilligaf Productions is back! We come back like a ghost in a dream that you can't shake. We're like that bad penny that keeps showing up on your doorstep. We're like the house guest that won't leave. We must be the center of attention! We demand it! Get hip, people!

I'm "betting the farm" that interest will pick up as more and more people see our little $80,000 wonder. The famous French filmmaker, Jean Luc Godard famously said, "All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun." Just remember, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, that Having My Baby is just a love story about two people named Blaine and Sophie; nothing more, and nothing less. A girl... a gun... a Bible... and a baby.